Dragon of the Scribe

{June 24, 2012}   My Theory of Discovery

Okay, okay… we get it – you’re writing this to help yourself get better. You’re just telling us so that we can watch you get better. What’s the big deal? Why are you basically excited about this?

Because I have a very unique perspective of being the subject of a profound experiment. I have witnessed a feeling of connection with a particular painter to a painting. Feel what they might have been experiencing right at that moment. We all have, but we were never able to grasp at how profound a feeling it was or the ability to use on a large scale.

It’s happening right now, we are on the verge of understanding something that could change the world. My theory is that – when I cure my depression for good, millions of others will be cured to.  It sounds impossible.  I’m sorry, but I don’t believe in a world of impossibilities.  I live in the world of “I’m going to figure out!”.  I believe Discovery is what I’m theorizing about.  My hope is, regardless of my experiment, people will start to ask more questions – and try to succeed where I failed.  I want people to think, grow and learn about everything around them.

So, how am I trying to prove my theory? My reasoning is actually simple. I write a public diary.  For someone who suffers a very serious mental illness, this seems like the worst idea in history!  There is such a high chance of people telling you you’re wrong, or that you’re stupid for having this illness, or that I’m crazy for doing something – this is the reason why we don’t.  Then, someone did.

And we learn from these!  Leonardo DiVinci! Think of him.  How do we know about him?  His painting of Mona Lisa will pop in nearly every single one of yous.  Regardless if it was the first or last thought.  Why?  We’ve all seen it.  The original painting itself in Paris or other such media spread across the globe.  What else do we know about him?  We also knew he was a great scientist and made many discoveries that we now apply to our lives.  So, here’s a lot of information about a man who did a lot of paintings, and several works of scientific genius, but our first thought is ‘The Mona Lisa.”   His works made him immortal.  He didn’t hide himself – his painting reflected that – and we are inspired by his courage.  His courage of portraying his emotions to everyone in the world.

The funny thing is, he’d tell you there was nothing courageous about this!  He had no shame, no feeling of being exposed and naked before everyone to see.  He also remained quite humble, as most brilliant people are.  He did what came naturally to him.  He was no different than anyone else in his eyes, he just had a way to express it.  He used art and words.  He spread knowledge world wide, and changed the course of history, along with countless other discoveries before and after his time.

Unlike a painting, which is a finished story of the artists mind – written word from a journal portray’s the past, present at once, and even the future.  Therapists often recommend telling their patients to keep a journal every day about their feelings.  While many make this a great habit, it’s limiting to it’s potential.  These feelings are very private and bring a great deal of pain, worry, doubt or even fear of people finding out about them.  This is a problem!  With everyone having these feelings, and too afraid to show them – EVERYONE thinks they’re alone with that particular feeling.  Isolation set’s in, and we suddenly think we’re all different and no one gets us.

Words are also extremely powerful tools: thought of, spoken or written they are immortal.  It doesn’t matter what language it is, if we can understand it or not.  They change our perceptions, our thoughts and actions.  Stop.  Go.  Red. Green.  We make these connections from the words, to traffic lights.  These were taught to us for helping us go through intersections.  These were created by a collective group who worked together to invent one.  There was the single person with the idea.  See how that spread?  We might not know who invited it – but we all know what it is.

Words can also heal and hurt.  Sticks and Stones Might Break My Bones, But Words Will Never Hurt Me.  This has been proven false, not by personal experience but with science.  Here’s an experiment.  Take two identical flowers.  With a sharpie, write ‘Hate’ on one, and ‘love’ on the other.  Which one dies first?

This applies to people.  Eventually I want to watch as my writing goes from a negative outlook, to a positive one.  I want to see this improvement naturally, and watch as I start taking less and less medicine.  At first, it will be ugly, this will be bare bone and exposing myself to the dangers of what’s out there.  I am ready and willing to face that challenge.

And because this is bare bones out for the world to see – I have the chance of connecting to people who feel the same way I do.  I give people a sense of comfort to express themselves as well.  Suddenly a taboo subject becomes accepted.   Now, I’m starting to have a different view of the world around me.  Now I’m starting to see beauty in things more often.  I’m thinking about things more deeply, I’m starting to feel less and less depressed.  Meanwhile, I’m still writing these experiences, and people are still reading.

Now, not only am I helping myself get better – people are beginning to be inspired by it!  They begin to respond, regardless if it’s positive or negative, their points of view.  They start sharing their stories, their advice, their criticism, their POINT OF VIEW! That point of view is what makes us who we are!  What we think is how well our body works.  If you think negative all the time, or aggressively all the time – you get sick a lot, angry a lot, depressed a lot.  Things look dull, the streets look dirty and ugly.  If everything is always the same, we rarely ever notice anything different.

I believe by changing my own, personal, point of view – I’ll stop having to take as much medicine.  This is my experiement.  Changing the world, by changing myself, simply by writing a public diary.

This is my story.  What’s yours?

Please note:  I’m thinking as only ONE possibility for the future.  The future is endless, and the very nature of possibility is what makes discovery so profound!  Having the possibility of being a person to make a wonderful discovery.  Even if I’m proven wrong, I am inspired to try and make this a reality.


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